BXBX NOVEL Chapter 265 Understanding [4]
Chapter 265 Understanding [4]
A slight burn lingered at the back of my throat, coating my tongue as a sense of calm took over. It was a cycle that I would never forget. .....In that cycle, I indulged in the past. Relished the sense of calm that the cigarettes used to bring me. But that wasn\'t all. *Sip* Gripping the coarse-textured glass, I slowly savored the warm burn spreading down my throat.
It was similar, yet different. "Haa..." I remembered sinking into the sofa. It embraced every part of me and dragged me deeper into the sweet comfort and allure of it. My mind grew stagnant and all thoughts paused. I gradually lost all sense of thought and just basked in the comfort. I couldn\'t focus at all. All I could think of was about indulging myself in the pleasure. Notifications continued to pop up in my vision. It was... [Joy] Indeed, I was happy. Indulging in the sensation, all I felt was joy. But I knew it was fake. A means of escapism. And yet, knowing this, I still indulged myself. The more I sunk into this feeling, the more I found myself unable to leave it. I wanted to bask in the pleasure for longer. Perhaps even forever. I had suffered way too much. Why couldn\'t I enjoy myself? This much was fine, right? \'It\'s not.\' Sadly, it wasn\'t. I knew it, and thus, I had no choice but to leave it. It was during that cycle that I first learned I could let go of an emotion. [Joy] I let go of it. The world lost all its color. Xiu! Xiu! Xiu! The air \'popped\' the moment the Vice-Chancellor attacked. I didn\'t know how fast the attacks were, nor did I know their trajectory. It was the unknown that made my heart beat faster. ....It was almost as if fear was trying to lodge itself in my mind. But I didn\'t let it. The Twentieth Cycle. "Uwaa!" Blood lingered on the pavement as I heard the sound of a crying child. I stood still, staring at the wreckage that was upon me.
Pieces of flesh and limbs were scattered across the ground as police lines prevented me from moving further. In my grasp, a head nestled itself into my leg as my brother continued to cry. "It was a drunk driver." So the police said. It was a memory of the past. The time when I learned of my parent\'s death. I had been quite young back then. That was the moment when my life turned upside down.
That was the first time I had truly felt fear. ....What was I supposed to do? I had a younger brother and no job. No relatives to turn to, and hardly any savings. What was my life going to be? That was my first trauma. The twentieth cycle replayed the scene over and over again for me. It made me see things that I hadn\'t seen before. How the accident came to be, and all the gruesome parts that came with it. Regardless of my struggles, I couldn\'t take my eyes away from the scene. I was stuck in an endless cycle.
....That was until the scene changed and I was shown my second trauma. "You have been diagnosed with cancer." The doctor sat in front of me. Just like before, he relayed to me the news of my cancer. The feeling of emptiness, loneliness, and fear that I had experienced back then. I was made to relieve them over and over again. I had lost count of the number of times that I was made to experience such feelings, but... That was the second time that I was able to learn how to let go of an emotion. [Fear] I let go of it. Staring straight ahead, knowing that powerful spells were headed my way, potentially crippling me were I to not avoid them, my face remained firm. I looked ahead without a change in expression. Whatever was coming at me, it didn\'t bother me. I had already set the fear aside. All the thoughts that ran in my mind were on how to handle the incoming attacks. The mana inside of my body drained and I pressed my foot down. ....That was when the gravity around me increased significantly. It was subtle, but enough to slow down the projecticles. That was enough for me to see them, and make an accurate prediction of where they were going to move. The threads did the rest from that point. "....." A stifling silence took over the arena grounds as I stood still. Around me, over fourteen different projectiles appeared. They all hovered in the air right before me, some of the sharp chrystals pausing right next to my neck. I stared at them without any feeling. When I looked up, all I could see was the baffled look from the Vice-Chancellor. That\'s when I opened my mouth. "That\'s the second attempt." *** "...." The Vice-Chancellor stared at the youth in front of him with a look of bafflement. The attack just now was not something that was supposed to be stopped without any harm. While he didn\'t think it could be stopped, he at least thought the cadet would suffer substantial injuries. And yet... \'....He actually managed to stop it.\'
It was hard for the Vice-Chancellor to hide his surprise at the sudden development. He wasn\'t the only one that was surprised. Staring at the scene, Leon, Aoife, and the others were just as surprised as he was. \'How did he stop that?\'
\'....I\'m ranked higher than him, and yet, he was able to stop that attack? How?\' Julien was not stronger than them in terms of ranking. This much was clear to everyone present, and it was also what baffled everyone. He wasn\'t stronger than them in terms of ranking and yet appeared to be able to handle things that some of them struggled to imagine being able to handle. It made no sense. "How did he do it?" This was especially baffling to Aoife who stared at the scene with narrowed eyes. She had seen the entire action from start to finish, and yet, she not once was able to see the trajectory of all fourteen projectiles. Had she been in his position, Aoife thought she\'d at best be able to come out with heavy injuries. Aoife attributed a lot of Julien\'s strength to his emotive magic. Without his emotive magic, she thought that she was stronger. And yet... "His mentality." Leon suddenly spoke from the side. Staring at Julien, who stood at the center of it all, he closed his eyes for a brief moment. ".....Subconsciously, we all think about what will happen if the attacks hit us and how to mitigate the damage to the maximum." Leon went on to say, opening his eyes to stare at Julien again. "He doesn\'t care." "Uh?" "What do you mean by that?" Leon frowned. What did he mean by that? Well, it was obvious what he meant. \'He\'s erased all traces of fear from his mind.\'
It was a baffling concept that he couldn\'t understand, nor was he sure was really the case, but staring in Julien\'s direction and seeing how unperturbed he was, Leon was sure that he was right. In some baffling turn of events, Julien was able to seal certain emotions. If it was really true, then...
"Haa." Leon let out a look breath and shook his head. \'Crazy. It\'s crazy.\' "I\'ll start the next attempt." The Vice-Chancellor\'s voice brought everyone out of their thoughts. Looking ahead, everyone noticed a sudden shift in his demenour. If before he appeared somewhat serious, the current him looked different. He no longer seemed to want to test Julien. No, as of right now, he seemed to want to truly fight him. \'He\'s coming.\'
Noticing the sudden shift in the Vice-Chancellor\'s demenour, Julien\'s face remained blank. The color of his eyes shifted, and he sunk deeper into a state of \'forgetfulness\'. At the same time, his legs started to part and he took a step forward. Tak—
It was a gentle step, and yet, it echoed loudly within the area. \'He\'s going forward?\'
\'Why is he heading forward?\'
All eyes were on him as they noticed three magic circles forming around the Vice-Chancellor. The number of attacks looked smaller, but everyone could tell that they were stronger. With a wave of his hand, the three magic circles popped off at once. Wooom! Julien\'s face remained firm as the attacks shot. His expression was like that of a blank canvas, pure and untainted. And as the attacks headed his way, he took another step forward. n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om
Tak—
At the same time, his mind sunk deeper into the cycles he experienced. It was now the forty-eight cycle. ....Of all the cycles, it was the weirdest cycle of them all. In that cycle, he was made to experience something similar. A situation where he couldn\'t retreat. It was a bloody cycle. A cycle that pushed his mind to the limit, and forced him to his death in an uncoutable number of times. Julien stared ahead. Time seemed to have frozen for him. He could see the Vice-Chancellor on the opposite end, but he couldn\'t see the projectiles. It was almost as if they weren\'t there, but... Julien could feel it with every fiber of his being. The danger that was closely approaching him. Tak—
He took another step forward. As he did, his eyes fluctuated, turning a golden color as [Joy] returned to him. As it did, his lips gently moved upwards as he was reminded of a certain someone. \'I really do have to thank him for this.\' It wasn\'t completed, but it was enough. Looking ahead, he took another step forward. The moment he did, several shadows cast over the area around him. One directly behind him, one next to his left temple, and the other one right before his abdominal area. ....It all occurred so fast that nobody had any time to see what was happening. All but two people. The Vice-Chancellor, and Leon who suddenly opened his eyes as he suddenly took note of Julien\'s footwork. \'That...!\' His eyes opened wide, and in the next moment, the scene changed. Bang—! A loud explosion echoed, gathering the attention of all those present. "....!" All eyes shot open as they stared at the scene in shock. For the next few seconds, no sound was heard. Not until...
Drip! A loud dripping sound echoed throughout the surroundings as a figure appeared in the middle, kneeling. Drip...! Beneath him, a pool of blood formed. But even as blood pooled around him, his gaze remained fixed on the Vice-Chancellor who stared at the scene in utter and complete shock. "Three.." Julien mumbled quietly, "...That\'s three."