I Don’t Want To Be An Ojakgyo

"Whatever\'s inside of you, be honest about it. I might be able to accept it, you know."

She put her arms loosely around his neck before speaking in a low voice, soft enough to melt away in the pouring rain.

"You, just as you are now."

As the two of them walked home, as he walked with Shuraina\'s hand in his, he was stuck reminiscing his past.

He had grown up in trash. He had rolled in it. Everything was rotten, everyone was rotten, and he was the worst of them all. But that was how he had survived until now.

For Yves, trying to fix his lifestyle and trying to live as a model citizen was wrong in itself. He could pretend to do it–it was easy to pretend.

He imagined it, sometimes. A Shuraina, trapped in a room, unable to go anywhere and existing only for him. He imagined having Shuraina for himself. The Shuraina in his imagination loved him no matter how twisted he was–she even loved that part of him. She willingly allowed herself to stoop down to his level, as miserable as this made her.

But that wasn\'t what he wanted. He just wanted her to be happy, always. For her to do everything she wanted. Eat everything she wanted. Meet whomever she wanted. He wanted to give her wings to let her fly high in the air.

The two polar opposites fought within him. And then. And then. And then.

The two wordlessly walked down the rainy streets. And when they finally arrived at his home, he looked at Shuraina, illuminated by the lights in the front entrance. Yvnes gave her a twisted smile.

Should I be honest. I\'ll be honest. If I\'m being honest.

"I want you to become as disgusting as me."

So that I won\'t feel guilty. So that I can feel assured in my love for you.

Tears fell from Yvnes\' guilt-ridden eyes. His lips were marred by a cruel smile, but tears continued to make their way down his face. His wet hair, his wet face, and his tears. His words were full of thorns, but Yves looked quite pitiful right now. He was trying his best to tear down the walls in his heart.

I want to chain you down, lock you up, and be selfish. I don\'t want to treasure you. Because I don\'t want to let you go.

Yves said, hiding nothing. He continued speaking, misery embedded in his every word. He felt like he was choking from his shame–as he broke down his walls when he first met Shuraina, as he raised his walls back up in fear of hurting her, and having to break down his walls once again. He had yearned for this moment, but he hadn\'t wanted it in equal measure.

Shuraina twirled her hair with her fingers as she quietly listened to his words. She rolled her eyes thoughtfully before nodding a few times. She took off a layer of her waterlogged clothes and tossed it near Yves\' feet.

"Then do it."

Yves\' conundrum fixed itself with that one statement.

Yves embraced Shuraina and placed his lips on hers. Everything was the way he wanted it. No, it had gone even better. But his heart felt like it was ripping apart. Sorry, Shuraina. Sorry.

One layer. Two layers. The layers began to come off, one by one.

Shuraina looked sad as she received Yves\' kiss. To be honest, maybe she was the dishonest one of the two. She said it wasn\'t the case, but Shuraina was, in the end, accepting him out of some convoluted sense of pity. Yves wasn\'t unaware of this, either. But he was both happy and sad that he could keep her by his side, even like this.

To sum up the situation, Shuraina became Yves\' lover. After the two had began dating, Shuraina basically lived in his home. This was because whenever Shuraina tried to go home, Yvnes did everything in his power to stop it.

He gave her a new workspace so that she could stay in his home comfortably. He even made her a new food storage room. Yves tried to do everything he could for her. He gave her everything he wanted and everything he could ever give her.

With the exception of one thing. Shuraina asked Yves for a room for her to stay in, but that was the one thing he refused to provide. "Why? My room exists, you know. Let\'s live a frugal life." That was his baseless reasoning for it. He kept making her weird, stupid rooms like \'Shuraina\'s Toy Room\', \'Sweet Snacks Room\' and a \'Savory Snacks Room,\' but he refused to even entertain the idea of a separate sleeping space.

"Not today."

Shuraina decided to fold to Yves, but she had her own stipulation. Yves looked slightly dissatisfied about it, but he nodded anyway–he was content with the fact that he could lay with her and embrace her as he slept.

Yves was good with promises–both verbal and written. Shuraina tried to do the same for him, too. So if she asked him not to do something, he didn\'t. And if she didn\'t say anything, then he did what he wanted.

But even on days she allowed it and on days she didn\'t, her state was the same whenever she woke up. First, she was always being embraced by Yves, and,

"Why am I undressed again."

When she woke up in the morning, she was always in her underwear. She was sometimes even naked. She had definitely worn her pajamas and a night gown over it all before she closed her eyes, but when she woke up everything she wore was gone.

"I wonder. I had no idea that you took off your clothes as you slept, Shushu."

Yvnes said, lying through his teeth–he was the one that undressed her, after all. He placed a lingering kiss on Shuraina\'s soft skin before playfully opening his mouth. Kiss, kiss. He place a kiss on her forehead, her cheeks, and lips, and hugged her tighter.

"Don\'t play around. You did it."

"But your body\'s really warm when you\'re sleeping. It feels nice."

"Then you undress too. It\'s not fair."

Shuraina stretched out her arm and was about to unbutton Yves\' shirt before stopping. She slowly buttoned up every single button up to his neck.

Whew. She almost did something she might regret. She belatedly found Yvnes giving her a daring look and sighed. Yves listened to her when she said not to do it, but he poured his frustration through other methods of touching. If she refused for days in a row, then he made up scenarios where she couldn\'t help but accept.

Shuraina laughed awkwardly and covered his eyes–they looked like they were plotting.

She became a bit thirsty, so she tried to stand up. But Yves held her arm and didn\'t let her go. When Shuraina floundered in his arms, he patted her back and laid her back down.

She had no idea when he had prepared it, but Yves stretched out his arm to grab a cup of water next to him. He placed it by Shuraina\'s mouth. She gulped down the water he had given her before laying back down on the bed.

"Let\'s sleep a bit more, Shuraina……."

He pulled up the thick blanket around his and Shuraina\'s body. Yves rubbed Shuraina\'s waist and put his chin on her head.

"But are we going to live based on my sleeping pattern? Normally you\'re awake at this time and organizing documents and your flowerbed…."

"You\'re more important than my hobbies. And you\'re more important than my habits, too."

Shuraina, wide awake at this point, just stared at the ceiling. Her constant nude state in Yves\'–now her–home reminded her of something in her past life.

She remembered a time when she was a toddler when she ran around the living room wearing only a pair of panties and a large plastic bag as a cape. She went on the sofa and jumped on top of it, and went on a low desk and jumped on it too. She remembered a time when she wasn\'t at all embarrassed of wandering around her home naked.

"I\'m naked so often that I feel like I\'m one with nature. Thanks to you, I don\'t think I\'ll feel any sort of shame if I walk around like this."

Yves smiled mid-sleep at this sentiment.

"Don\'t smile. I\'m mocking you. Give me my clothes."

"I sold everything though. You said that it was a waste of money and to return it, right? It\'s home, so just go around naked."

"What an innovative way of trapping me in here. It\'s a good attempt and it was a smart move, but there\'s something you forgot–I\'ve gotten bolder. I can run around the streets and tell everyone that has a grudge on you about you."

Yves snickered as he rested his forehead on Shuraina\'s face.

"I don\'t think you\'ll be trapped so easily. At the very least,"

He whispered every single plan he had ever had into Shuraina\'s ears. Shuraina\'s body shook as she listened to every plan he had to trap her before regaining her calm expression.

"Do what you want. But I\'m going to do this to Yves."

This time, Shuraina stretched out her small hands and whispered her detailed plans of revenge into Yves\' ear. Shuraina\'s plans were just as R-rated as what Yves had to say. She was going to twist his arms and legs back and tie them….. And then….. Whisper, whisper.

Yves raised a single eyebrow at her words before pulling her ear close to him.

"Really? Then I\'m going to."

"…..huh. That\'s an idea. Then I\'m going to."

Then. No, I\'ll. More whispers. Murmur, murmur.

Both of them whispered words of obsession to each other. Shuraina clicked her tongue at his spine-chilling mind. Shuraina scrunched her nose and muttered, "I\'m in trouble." Yves laughed again.

"You\'re so cute that I just want to squish you until you explode."

"And I want to squish you until you explode because you\'re so annoying."

She said, leaning on Yves\' chest. Her small lips poked out like a bird\'s beak.

"You smell nice. You smell like me."

Yves seemed wide awake now, too. He seemed to have no intentions of falling back asleep. He buried his face into the curve of Shuraina\'s neck and shoulder and inhaled her scent.

"My mouth is watering."

Shuraina gently hugged Yves\' head before grabbing the hunk of ciabatta bread that Yves had brought and biting into it.

T/N: it\'s steamy but like….insinuated steamy………………ok……..