Chapter 184: Chapter 119 Yao Mingyue: Let's Start Over._2
"You\'ve only known her for a few months... What about all the years of feelings between us?"
"Let\'s leave the past in the past, isn\'t it good the way things are now? There are so many people in the world, you don\'t have to fixate on me." Your next read awaits at mvl
Xu Musen took a sip of alcohol, the sting of the liquor seeming to neutralize the emotions welling up inside him.
"That would have worked if you had said it to me a decade ago, but now, do you think it\'s still possible? Can I really forget about you?"
Ming Yue\'s voice finally fluctuated a bit, its sincere and slightly bitter tone making it difficult for Musen to say something harsh in return.
"We\'re just not suitable for each other, really."
"How can you know we\'re not suitable without trying? We\'ve been together for nearly twenty years, twenty years! If we\'re not suitable, then what is?"
Ming Yue spoke defiantly, word by word, sentence by sentence.
"Some things have nothing to do with time; maybe we\'re better off just as we are, just right."
Right now is just right, not too much nor too little, still capable of forgetting...
"But I don\'t want just right, I want to be with you; I\'ve wanted to be with you every day for these many years. I don\'t care about anyone else!"
Yao Mingyue reached out to grab onto Xu Musen\'s sleeve, afraid he would run away without a trace again.
"Xu Musen, dare you say you don\'t like me? Look at me, I don\'t believe I\'m not in your eyes!"
Ming Yue drew closer, her familiar face which he knew down to the bones, and her rosy lips tinted with the scent of alcohol.
A pair of phoenix eyes also brimmed with a touch of moisture.
Musen met her gaze for a moment.
At the very least, in their previous life, the first two years of marriage were truly happy, but all the romance was torn to shreds by the life that followed.
He silently shifted his gaze away.
"Musen, you have me in your heart. If you\'re angry about my past rejection of your confession, then I apologize to you, I can even confess to you in front of the whole school if it means you\'ll treat me well again, like you used to..."
Yao Mingyue clung to the hem of his clothes, the girl who had been proud for half her life now speaking somewhat humbly.
"It has nothing to do with those things. My past confessions were actually quite naive. At that time, I didn\'t even understand what liking someone meant; it might have been mostly just a momentary impulse."
Xu Musen shook his head and took another sip of alcohol.
Actually, when he confessed to Yao Mingyue in the past, he had indeed been spurred on by the occasional teasing of people around them.
And at that time, he didn\'t understand what liking someone meant or whether it was just possessiveness at play.
They had been together since they were young, but Yao Mingyue had become more and more outstanding, whether in her appearance, studies, personal abilities, or family background, gradually distancing herself from him, her childhood friend.
He was afraid that one day Yao Mingyue would leave him.
Deep down, Xu Musen had always been sensitive and insecure, frankly, he was not much better than Yao Mingyue before.
His confession was also mixed with ulterior motives.
"Liking someone\'s face is love, liking someone\'s personality is love, even liking someone\'s money can be considered love. Who is purer than whom? All I know is that I like you. Ever since we were kids, I\'ve only wanted to be with you."
Yao Mingyue looked at him, her eyes slightly red from drinking.
Indeed, Ming Yue was right, liking someone always starts with a reason, and humans are visual creatures; ninety percent of people start by liking someone\'s face.
There\'s no such thing as absolute purity in love; it always starts with a point and grows to encompass more.
Musen fell silent for a moment. Talking about his past life, he surmised no one would believe him, but this was also a good opportunity for a thorough chat.
"Yao Mingyue, let\'s assume for a moment, if we were together, would you really be happy?"
Xu Musen suddenly changed his tone.
Ming Yue\'s eyes brightened, her flushed face revealing a trace of longing, "Of course..."
After all, being together with someone brings more security; no one else could take him away.
"You still don\'t understand. A title cannot bring any security. Real security comes from mutual trust in each other\'s hearts, from the fulfillment within oneself."
Xu Musen shook his head, looking at Yao Mingyue: "Let\'s assume again, we\'ve announced our relationship and I inevitably have to interact with other women for work, can you control yourself from making wild guesses?"
Yao Mingyue was stunned for a moment, her first thought being that she couldn\'t!
Because he would be her boyfriend, making him her possession, and she would need to pay even more attention.
But seeing Xu Musen\'s expression, she found herself at a loss for words.
"I, if we were together, you wouldn\'t need to work, I could support you!"
Ming Yue spoke very seriously.
But Xu Musen just showed a \'that figures\' expression: "Yao Mingyue, I am a person, not a thoughtless piece of wood. I need my own work, my own career, and my own life.
If I am with you now, not only will you not have any sense of security, but it will also increase your unease.
What you need to learn is what it really means to like someone. It\'s about giving more, being more accommodating and trusting, not being more willful and demanding."